“An honest person will NEVER understand the behavior of a dishonest person as it is not their nature.”
Welcome to the Aspen Center for Empowerment and Healing weekly blog, where we will focus on the true meaning of self-love and how to clear toxic relationships from your life with ease and grace.
To support you on your journey, download my free gift, Freedom from Narcissistic Abuse Help Kit.
This program has an energy cleanse tool that will raise your vibration and align you with your higher self, so you are no longer a match to abusive relationships. The use of this program on a consistent basis will help support you in changing your Vibrational Set Point.
“The secret to change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new” – Socrates
Coherency – Flow – Living Life from the inside out
We have heard it before and we’ll hear it repeatedly, “You cannot love another until you love yourself,” but what does that really mean? Let’s dive into understanding coherency. Coherency can be defined as a state of awakened consciousness. When you integrate your mind and your heart, you will blend with others of like resonance. When you can learn to live your life from the inside out, you magically align with people, situations and experiences that are vibrationally matched. Our life is constantly mirroring our inner beliefs.
When we heal the inner turmoil in ourselves, it heals a lot of what is going on in our lives. Self-Love is where this journey begins…
How do you feel when you realize something you said or did created an outcome in your life that was not wanted or that brought pain to another? Do you beat yourself up? Play it in your mind over and over? Do you validate your behavior, so you don’t have to take responsibility for the outcome? Blame it on the other person or circumstance? These are all very creative ways we keep ourselves distracted from the deep emotions we experience when we are not loving ourselves. Self-Love is when we can take our walls down, get humbled and embrace ourselves with love. We are spiritual beings having a HUMAN experience. We are not always going to get it right, but it’s what you do to yourself after the fact that creates the inner turmoil. Also, it’s important to understand that people always have choices and if someone’s behavior is not to your liking, you get to choose if you want to stay or go. When we take responsibility for our own side of the street, knowing that others can do the same, it frees us up to LOVE.
Let’s turn it around, someone does or says something to you that makes you feel bad, not enough or rejected. Once again, when we love ourselves, we have the ability to look at the situation with love. See the GIFT, know that you and the DIVINE are co-creating life experiences that will ultimately bring you in alignment to your soul evolution. Self-Love allows you the freedom to LOVE what is, knowing that you are perfect, complete and whole.
When we can LOVE our own shadow as well as our light, we then have the power to put down our walls, to embrace all situations with love. To understand that we are ALL coming together in the unified field of coherency to grow into our DIVINE and perfect expression of ourselves.
“Knowing others is intelligence. Knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power” – Lao Tzu
Living our lives from the inside out takes courage, discipline and commitment, but the reward is priceless. As you learn to accept and love yourself just as you are, especially when it feels uncomfortable, the shift in your physical experience will align you with the same frequency in others. Your life will start to transform before your eyes.
Let’s dive in a bit deeper … every person, situation and experience in your life is there to serve your highest and best good. Living your life from the inside out allows you to tap into the magic and miracles that are right in front of you.
What happens when you watch a child learn to walk? They fall … a lot. They don’t beat themselves up for it or stop trying, they get up and do it again. We are always growing and changing, and we will feel uncomfortable at times but when you go within, connect to you, feel, sense and bathe in the calm of your own heart, you discover you. You know that everything is working out. You trust in Divine Timing, you enjoy the NOW moment, you Act when you are inspired to do so and not a second sooner. You know when you are aligned with you because you trust what is and yourself.
“One of the oldest and most generous tricks the universe plays on human beings is to bury strange jewels within us all, and then stand back to see if we can ever find them” – Elizabeth Gilbert
Living life from the inside out requires you to reinvent your daily routine. Take the necessary time to meditate, shut down ALL electronics, detach from the news and other people’s drama or stories. You must STOP, close the door to the chaos of the outer world and go within. Make yourself the priority and as you do, you will discover what feels good and what needs to go. You will establish boundaries with those that deplete you and realize that YOU are a GIFT. Your internal chatter will calm and you will no longer question yourself. You become your own BEST friend.
In my own personal journey, I had to learn this the hard way. I had the message come to me in so many ways, but I did not listen. I was trying to control ALL the circumstances in my life. My day started at 4 am and by 9 pm I was exhausted and wiped out. I would crawl into bed and think that I was going to read or meditate. Of course, I was asleep before I could even shut the lights out. The Divine stepped in to create the space for me. It was humbling and challenging. I spent well over a year in what felt like a deep meditation and quiet contemplation … but I had great resistance to this journey. Looking back, I can SEE the Divine Gifts I received, and I now realize there was no other way for me. I trust in my journey, I trust in the Divine and I trust in ME. It takes GREAT courage to call yourself out, to love DEEP and be vulnerable to who you truly are, no matter what the outcome.
True love is when you touch someone with your spirit, and in return they touch your soul with their heart…
Smoke and Mirrors – It’s time to shine a light
My intention for this topic is to bring awareness to the calculated behavior of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and the energy that surrounds this behavior. The Highly Empathic person that a narcissist preys upon will always look for the GOOD or LOVE in the NPD, as it is their nature to do so. There are so many moving parts to the NPD’s manipulation that I find it important to shine the light on what the narcissist is all about and their true intentions.
“An honest person will NEVER understand the behavior of a dishonest person as it is not their nature”
The NPD is our greatest GIFT. They come into our lives to break down old programs and belief systems that have kept us from loving ourselves. True SELF-LOVE is when we can love ALL of ourselves, the good, the challenging and the unwanted. On an unconscious level, we will bring life experiences to us to open our heart to self-love.
Narcissists are fundamentally addicted to the attention of others and without attention and control, they starve. Like predators, a narcissist knows how to manipulate the weaknesses of those that are kind and sensitive, as well as those that are in their ego and believing that the narcissist is no match for them. No one is off limits when it comes to narcissistic abuse and the greater the challenge the greater the reward for the NPD. It is a game to them. They pride themselves on their ability to access people by understanding the ego mind and human nature.
Depending on the relationship, some of the ways they will try to entice you is through declarations of undying love and gestures which try to convince you how much they CARE for you. As you learn about the behavior and start to establish boundaries for yourself, they will turn up the volume and send you random texts, phone calls, and apologies to gain power and control.
The truth is that the narcissist could care less about you, and their attempts to win your trust are all fabrications that are part of their game. Narcissists will say any lie and go to any extent to get you back under their control; they will try and engage you by appearing to own up to their mistakes and will simulate humility and remorse in an attempt to pull at your heartstrings. If they can’t get through to you directly, they will go a different route: your friends, children, or other family members. They are very convincing. Like magicians, NPDs use their magic of words and lies to create smoke and mirrors to confuse our ability to see or hear the very lies that are right in front of us.
What is the NPD’s focus? The narcissist will pick a field in which they become “The Expert.” They will use all they know about their subject of choice to gain status, recognition and control by creating the illusion that they are there for “the cause” or “others”. Ultimately, it is about them and they will use their expertise to manipulate you. The piece I want to bring light to is the Narcissist feeds on drama and control. Their enjoyment comes from the GAME, not the outcome. This is the most important and the most difficult to understand.
The NPD loves the GAME. Let me share a story….
I live in a community that allowed me the opportunity to experience a NPD in action and in great detail. All the victim experiences I was privileged to see and understand were from very smart, successful and savvy business professionals. This is where loving ourselves is the key when it comes to Narcissistic Abuse.
Bernie Madoff greatly impacted my community and I watched and listened to story after story of how people lost most of their financial investments. One thing that was very clear was that what unfolded went against their inner beliefs. Victims stated, “I knew it was too good to be true”, “This is what I do for a living, I knew better.” The stories poured in as I listened to the ways the NPD accessed people. He understood the ego mind and human behavior; he created a desire and demand by ONLY allowing a select few to work with him – They would have to go through a friend or a contact to be considered. One person shared with me how it felt like a drug and he had to get in on the investing. There are so many interpretations of this story that took the world by surprise and yet I am blessed to have been able to receive in-depth information from those impacted by the experience and their journey. I watched as so many beautiful souls came together in a community to support, love and heal those that were impacted. LOVE became the driving force behind this experience and hearts opened as people were showered with love.
What we focus on expands and it is important to know that understanding narcissistic personality disorder will serve you in loving yourself and making good decisions to take care of YOU. Shining a light on the behavior of NPD is really all about SELF-LOVE and SELF-EMPOWERMENT.
“You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level” – Eckhart Tolle
Weekly Empowerment Forecast
5/13/2018 – 5/20/2018
May began with the powerful full moon of April 29 in Scorpio, an energy cleanser that set a resounding tone for a month that will be marked by possible transitions and change. We are also ending the 7-year cycle of Uranus in Aries.
As Uranus enters Taurus, it is likely that we will all experience an awakening of some kind – we may also receive new insights or exciting new opportunities may come our way. Uranus in Aries was all about making changes, so you could step into your power and lead with love. What events took place for you since 2011? Are there any significant events that stood out?
Reflect on this and see where you have stepped up in your life and where you have found more courage. Celebrate yourself for how far you have come and celebrate the changes that have occurred in your life so far. Try to see them with a positive mindset and just how they have molded you to become the person you are today.
The ways that you seek stability and comfort are also going to be changing under this energy. What you once thought was secure and stable is no longer, as we are unhooking from old programming and learning to trust in the DIVINE to co-create a life of freedom and liberation.
It’s time to redefine and reassess what makes you feel secure and stable as you may have to let go and release attachments to things that once brought you comfort. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that security and stability come from material goods such as having a house, a job, money and so on. While these things do provide us with security, perhaps we are being called to go deeper and learn to develop security from within, regardless of our circumstances. It is time to let go of the security blanket and take a risk. Where is your heart calling you to freedom?
“Dance Like nobody is watching. Love like you have never been hurt. Work like you don’t need the money. Live like it’s heaven on earth.”
Set your Intention to be guided by the Divine, to SEE clearly when something feels off. Intend the Divine to guide you to people, situations and life experiences that bring you joy. Ask the Divine to support you and work through you when life is challenging.
Thank you Divine for opening my heart and mind to receiving all the love and support available to me on every level. I AM being taken care of and all my needs are met with Grace and Ease. My heart is overflowing with gratitude for all my blessings. So be it and so it is.
Until next week.
With a grateful heart,
Lisa xo
