Living Radically Authentic Part 1

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Hello, everyone, this is Lisa Wilson with the Aspen Center for Empowerment and Healing

This is our new series, 2020 Vision: Ways To Navigate This Next Year So That You Could Truly Align Yourself With The Most Wonderful Life.

My heart and soul, my passion is living radically authentic. I'll just share a little story about how that came to be for me and why this work that I do is just the heartbeat of my soul

I am so blessed to be doing this work and on this journey with all of you. Because when we truly live radically authentic lives, it's amazing the magic that will show up in our lives.

So, I’ll share a story. I was just recently interviewed on a wonderful program that Tammy Lawman, who is a dear friend of mine as well as my JV affiliate and social media manager. She is hosting, and we had this conversation

She asked me, “What does it mean to live radically authentic, and why is that so important to you?”

To be able to sit and answer that question, I love it because I want to just shout it out from the rooftops because we have been so conditioned in our lives to put on a false mask, to show up a certain way.

Let me share a couple of stories, quick little short stories that just capture what it means to live radically authentic and why we don't.

I caught myself recently with my son, and he has two dear friends that he loves. And he was at a crossroads because they're constantly at each other's throats. So, he felt torn and kind of in the middle. And it was an interesting conversation that evolved.

My son is 10 years old. So I just want you to understand when I'm having this conversation, this is how I speak with my 10-year-old boy because these kids are so smart. Kids are so smart.

I know, I came from a generation of children who should be seen and not heard. We didn't really have a voice. Then when you add narcissistic traits to that kind of structure, that little child tends to disappear.

And so, she creates a lot of masks, or he will create a lot of false personas in order to take care of their needs and show up in the world. It’s just part of what happens when you're dealing with this type of situation.

But I said to my son. He was saying, “I don't want to have both of them in the same space together.” 

Until we get really clear on our own patterns and our own behavior, we can't change anything.

And I said, “Wow. You know, what's so beautiful is, why do you think the behavior is the way it is?”

He said, “Well, when I pay more attention to one, the other one gets jealous.”

I said, “Exactly. So how do you think you could support the two of them? Because you truly love them both. They're both your very dear friends, and you've known them since you were all very tiny.”

And I said, “Is it possible to be a little more aware of why they're behaving the way they're behaving and then find a path to actually support each friend and have that communication between them, let them know how you're feeling?”

This was my conversation this morning on the way to school. I'm so grateful to be raising a conscious child and he's so well aware.

He said, “Wow, that's wonderful.”

Because the other option from our distorted self would be, “Well, I don't want to invite so and so. I'm just going to hang out with this person.” And then the other friend gets their feelings hurt.

But before all that conversation took place, I sat there because my conditioning came up. This is living radically authentic until we get really clear on our own patterns and our own behavior, we can't change anything.

What happened was he said something about the two of them and not wanting to invite one or the other to something.

I said, “Well, first of all, you have to invite both of them because somebody's feelings are going to get hurt and the parents’ feelings are going to be hurt.” All the reasons why we've been told to behave in a certain way. 

All of a sudden, I sat back and I thought. I stopped mid-sentence and I said, “Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait a minute.” 

I said, “You know what? If you truly don't want to invite one or the other, then we could sit down and have that conversation. We will navigate the territory because we're not on this planet to try to make it okay for everybody.”

You take care of yourself and you do what's right for you, and ultimately, it'll be right for everybody involved.

So we had that conversation, and then we just left it for a little while. I just have to sit and integrate what that felt like because I don't want to tell my child that he has to do something or he has to show up a certain way. “You have to invite this certain friend, or somebody's feelings are going to get hurt.” 

This is how we mask ourselves and put on these false personas or do things where we're people-pleasing. We're saying “yes,” when it's a “no.”

You take care of yourself and you do what's right for you, and ultimately, it'll be right for everybody involved.

After a few days went by and this was this morning's conversation, I said, “Wow, these two boys are really dear to your heart. Are you sure you want to exclude one of them? Because there are other choices.” That was where the conversation really presented itself

So, I wanted to share that story because it is significant. We have choices

First, we have to understand why we're saying what we're saying. Then we have to capture the meaning of what it is all about. 

Is this a programming? Is this a belief structure? And then what are my options? Is there another way that the situation can be addressed? What needs to happen in order to handle a situation differently?

When we live radically authentic lives, I am asking you to look within. Really shine a light, get humbled. Don't try to hide or make it feel okay or negotiate with yourself. Really sit back. We can fight for our right to be right, and ultimately, everyone loses when we're having to prove ourselves in that type of way. 

So really check in with yourself. What does it mean to be radically authentic? Where in your life are you not showing up radically authentic? How can you shift that? Are you speaking your truth? Are you really checking in with yourself?

Here’s just another quick one. Through my journey of healing from toxic relationships and integrating my own self-love, I had to look at all the strategies that I use around getting my needs met with others.

Because it's all strategy, and people-pleasing is a strategy. It's actually a form of manipulation, and most people are just not aware that you're manipulating. We're manipulating to try to fit into a mold and get our needs met.

That takes away everybody's choice and free will in the situation when you're not being authentic. 

As you come in to really checking in with yourself, if there is any type of charge to the energy or the frequency around a certain behavior, then you know that there's an unhealed hidden aspect within you that is needing to be integrated and addressed.

As we integrate these fractured parts of self that are hidden from us that live in the shadows, and we start shining a light in the shadows, we bring those parts back home. When we do, we then have the freedom.

I enjoy doing things for people because it's the nature of who I am. Now, I don't do it for everyone. It's just my core friend base, so to speak, that I truly love to spoil. And it makes me smile.

But I had to get to a place before I can really become that person and say, is this a strategy? Am I trying to get something from that person? Or can I love this person just because I love you without there being an expectation of an outcome? So we're always having to check in. Check in. 

What is the true meaning of enlightenment? It's getting to know yourself so completely. You have to look within your own shadow, and then you can make choices to live radically authentic. This is the key. This is what I want everyone to really hear.

As we integrate these fractured parts of self that live in the shadows and we start shining a light in the shadows, we bring those parts back home. When we do, we then have freedom.

When you live a radically authentic life, you speak your truth, and you shine a light on love, oh, my goodness. Something happens that is so magical.

First of all, your word has so much value. People will trust you at such a core level because you trust you because you know why you're saying “yes.” And you have the free will to say “no.” You're not caught up in the facade and the strategy of trying to get your needs met from a place of lack and limitation. You're integrating the fullness of you.

When somebody else shows up in your life and they do something that is loving or supportive, you know that that is a radically authentic person as well, because they've shown up in that way with you.

So you trust who they are, in relationship with you. That trust and that foundation are everything in a relationship. So we're going to continue this conversation.

For more information, go to my website aspencenterforempowerment.com. I have wonderful programs and processes. I have a fabulous healing journey that I have up on my website called Healing Shame and Guilt.

Any time we are learning to say “yes” and claim our power, and say “no” and claim our power, there is a level of shame and guilt that can present itself as we clear and clear the dense energy and the false programs from generations that have been passed down through our lineage.

This is so much bigger than you can imagine. It's so much bigger than you. It's not just about your “yes,” it's a collective “yes.” It's a “yes” through the lineage. It's so significant. It's a no through the lineage.

So thank you so much for being here. I will look forward to more. 

If you like this video and if it supported you in any way, just like it and share it. Let it be known with others, because that's how we come together to really heal, support, and love and create a container that supports each and every one of us building our family, our soul family, our tribe.

All right. Thank you so much. Bye for now.

By |2020-02-21T22:09:17-07:00February 10th, 2020|Invocations|Comments Off on Living Radically Authentic Part 1