Understanding the Victim Mindset


Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for being here. This is Lisa Wilson with the Aspen Center for Empowerment and Healing. I am just so grateful to be having this conversation with all of you today. 

We're going to dive into what it means to be a victim of your circumstances and how to really shift that vibrational frequency. It really is such a journey to navigate. So, let's dive into that conversation. 

What does it mean? Let's start out with a really powerful question, and this is one that I used over and over to really help me understand and see clearly because I played in that arena for a while. 

I grew up in a family dynamic that I always felt victimized by. Whether I was or wasn’t, it doesn't really make a difference. What does matter is there’s a resonance to that vibrational frequency when we are in a downward spiral, so to speak, and we are constantly feeling victimized by life. 

I really want you to sit with this question because this one shifted me big time. Do you believe that the universe you live in is a friendly universe? Or one that is filled with challenges, that life isn't always supporting you? 

When you can start with that question, you have the ability to dive in deeper to your own self, belief system, core beliefs, and what is driving you and creating experiences in your life

If you feel like the world is always out to get you, life is always challenging, and things don't always work out for you, that's when you see that you're a victim of your circumstances. And that's a mindset and a vibrational frequency that will actually bring you more of the same challenging experiences, and it becomes a vicious circle. 

So how do we get off of that mindset? First, let me just share something with you that was presented to me many years ago on my journey and became a lifeline for me. The person whom I was studying with at the time said to me, “Is it possible to believe that the universe always has your back in everything that's happening?” 

It was a foreign concept for me at that time. I couldn't even wrap my head around that because I was so immersed in this belief system of being a victim. I couldn't see the forest for the trees at that point. 

If you feel like the world is always out to get you, and things don't always work out for you, that's when you see that you're a victim of your circumstances. That's a vibrational frequency that will bring you more of the same challenging experiences, and it becomes a vicious circle.

But it sat with me when he asked me that question. And he said, “Can you believe that the universe is always working out for you? That everything is always working out for you, that the universe has your back?” 

I fought that one for a long time because I felt very victimized by my circumstances. Until somebody once said to me, “Fight for your limitations, and they're yours.” 

That sunk in deep into my core. That was when I started to ask some bigger questions.

If you're here on this video today watching me, then there's something up and there's a shift that's ready to take place in you. So let's dive in deep. 

How did I shift this core belief that was a vibrational magnet for everything in my life where I believed that things were difficult and challenging, yet all the experiences I continued to bring in were difficult and challenging? How did I change it? 

Well, first I looked outside of my circle for someone who would mentor me. I didn't even know I was what I was asking for at the time, to be honest. 

I found this beautiful client of mine. She was living a life that I just absolutely admired, and I asked her if she would mentor me. 

What was funny about that journey is she said “yes,” and she put up some pretty strict boundaries and rules around our relationship

When we're in victim consciousness, we believe the world is out to get us. We're unable to see clearly the way we've created it. We don't see our own role, how we've set it up, and how we actually support what's happening in our lives. We've created it. We don't see that. We're unable to self-assess from that place. 

So she said to me, “I will mentor you for as long as you follow the rules, and the rules are this: If you have to cancel an appointment with me, you'll give me a 24-hour notice. Hands down. I don't care what comes up for you.” 

See, as victims, we create drama. We create a lot of drama. We're actually addicted to drama. It's part of the vibrational frequency of being a victim. We live in this drama triangle. 

I have a couple of videos about the drama triangle. If you want to dive in deeper to what that means, you could search those. You could find them on my web page at the aspencenterforempowerment.com under blog. 

As victims, we create a lot of drama. We're actually addicted to it. It's part of the vibrational frequency of being a victim. We live in this drama triangle.

We are used to living in high drama when we're a victim of our life circumstances. We create drama, which is kind of an insatiable fuel or food for the behavior. 

What happened was such a beautiful experience because she mentored me for over a year, and our relationship was amazing. I learned so much from her. But what I really learned, what anchored it in, and what set it in stone for me—the true teaching happened when I created a lot of drama in my life, going back to the same old stuff that I would do subconsciously. I wasn't even aware I was doing it. 

I canceled an appointment within that 24 hours because I was an emotional wreck, and I couldn't get on the phone with her. She fired me on the spot. I was devastated. Oh my goodness. 

Yet it was the greatest gift that she ever gave me because it was where the teaching came in such a big way. I saw it so clearly, I lived through it, and I experienced it at such a deeper place. That was when I really was able to start making some progress in my life

I share that with you because I want you to know that it's just a mindset. It's a belief system that we've been conditioned by—to live in drama and chaos. Society kind of promotes it, and TV shows activate it. 

Everywhere we turn, there's this kind of chaos that we are living in. And to get off being a victim and to get out of the programming of victimhood is a journey. It doesn't happen overnight, and it takes discipline and courage to lookIt's humbling

​​I think it was one of the most humbling experiences I had—to actually really look at the ways I felt victimized by life and society and to not fight for that because you fight for it

What does that mean? Somebody, at one point, said to me, “Fight for your limitations, and they’re yours.” And that is a great truth. That was my great truth. That was a huge shift in consciousness for me. 

First, you have to have a map. You have to know where you're headed. I always say the map. What's your target? What's your bullseye? Because you can't get to somewhere without knowing where you're going. So you've got to get clear on where you're going. 

What does life look like when you're not a victim? Well, you live life knowing that absolutely everything that presents itself to you serves. I messed up with my mentor, my first mentor at 26 years old, so that she could fire me, and I can get the greatest lesson ever.

Everything serves the good, the bad, and the ugly. The stuff that you can't even wrap your head around, there is some great something that's taking place for your soul's evolution in a conscious expansion into self-love. But it's up to you to see the glass always half full and not half empty, to know the universe has your back. 

What does life look like when you're not a victim? Well, you live life knowing that absolutely everything that presents itself to you is serving you.

That if something is presenting itself to you, that it's there to serve you somehow, that it might be the only way for you to receive that gift, that message, or that shift

Sometimes we bring in some pretty difficult things, and we can play “poor me” and share that story with everyone. Then we get addicted to the story and the attention that we receive from it. 

You have to be humbled and willing to look at your own shadow and say, “How is this victim behavior mindset actually serving me?” 

I know someone who was diagnosed with cancer, a health crisis. And he was very happy to have that experience because he said that finally, people pay attention to him. And he really loved his diagnosis because of that. So everything is serving us

It's just, are we able to see the true gift and what it's bringing to us? If you're living in a place of feeling victimized by your life, how is that serving you? And are you willing to shift it? Are you willing to flip it into an up spiral? Because it first becomes a daily practice. It's something you have to choose every day

So dive in further with me. We'll open up this conversation as we go into deeper states. You could go to my website, aspencenterforempowerment.com, and we will continue to dive into this deeper conversation, so we could fully step into the truth of who we are

Everything in your life serves. Are you able to see it? Let's really fine-tune ourselves, so we can see it. We do live in an absolute friendly universe, but it's up to us to choose to see it that way. 

Thank you so much. If this video has helped you in any way, please like, subscribe, and share it. It's the way that the little computer bots get my information out there, and together we can grow into the true self-expression of self-love

Thank you so much for being here. Look forward to more. Bye for now.

By |2019-12-02T09:22:42-07:00December 2nd, 2019|Invocations|Comments Off on Understanding the Victim Mindset